Old Life

Do you ever look through old journals, emails, letters or other personal things that you had written two, four, five or even ten years ago?  I do.  Not often, but every once in a while I'll come across an old diary or notebook and flip through it.  It's interesting to do that.  To read something that I wrote years ago; to get a glimpse of who I was then - a glimpse that is more and more enlightening as I grow older and have the perspective that age and time brings.  As each year passes and I grow closer to the Lord and He opens my eyes more to the sinful nature of my own heart, it becomes more and more humbling to read personal things that I wrote in high school.

I recently

New Eyes. . .

Over the last couple of weeks God has opened my eyes  and broken my heart for people who don't know Him in a new way.  He showed me His heart by bringing to my attention several people who I know or have known closely who do not love Him or accept Him as their savior.  It just breaks my heart to see these friends, some of whom are like family to me, who grew up in Christian homes and went (or still go) to church and youth functions faithfully now rejecting the faith that they were raised in.  I was having a conversation with one of these friends a few days ago and it was just so heartbreaking.  They have the truth right in front of them and yet they can't or won't receive it.  The saddest part is the effect this rejection has upon a person's life.

Without God, life has no true meaning or purpose - something that I have seen evidenced in some of these friends as they have turned their backs on Him.  Their lives are hollow and they are searching for anything that is not God or religion that will fill the hole in their soul.  But they search in vain, because even if something seems to be working, eventually the emptiness with return.  Their lives are characterized by

The Legacy of Literature

Today I am going to move from things I wrote in high school to something I wrote my freshman year of college.  This essay was written for my freshman comp class during my first semester at junior college.  We were told to find an aphorism (which, according to the dictionary is a pithy observation that contains a general truth) and write an essay about why we thought the aphorism we chose was true using personal examples.  Enjoy.

                                                                            The Legacy of Literature

                                              “A room without books is like a body without a soul”

                                                                                        - Cicero

Just as the soul of a human being brings life and animation to the body, so do books bring those same qualities to a room. When the soul departs, the body is left a lifeless shell - a shadow of what was. Likewise, a room without books is dull, lifeless and dead. A person’s soul is immortal, living on after the body is dead; so to, are books. Long after an author has died, the books written by them have the potential to live on to inspire and teach those who come after. 

I have experienced such teaching and inspiration in my own life. Many of my favorite books, the ones that impacted me the most, were written by people who died many years before I was born. A perfect example

Update on my life.

Since my last few posts have been pretty heavy philosophical ones, I thought today I would just post a quick blurb with an update on my life.
For all of you who have been praying I have a huge praise report for you, because right in time, God miraculously provided the money we needed in order not to lose our house this month.  Praise the Lord!  So now my dad is still looking for work and the rest of the family is pushing along with school and keeping up the house.  As for me, I'm still keeping incredibly busy with school and work.  I've gone from 2 cleaning jobs a week to 3 or 4 depending on the week, plus my weekend job at Penelope's, our local authentic tea parlor.
 On top of all that, I started a home based business back in January to help pay for college.  I am an independent distributer for a 50 year old health and nutrition company called Shaklee.  Shaklee is an amazing company, and they offer a variety of products including health supplements, weight management, skin care and cleaning products.  The best part is every single thing that we offer is natural, non-toxic and chemical free.  With Earth Day this month, now is a great time to start making choices that are healthier for both you and the planet, and with Shaklee, you can rest assured that you will be getting quality products that work well.
April is also a big month for me as I am trying to reach my first goal: to rank up within my first three months in order to make an extra bonus and increase my monthly commission by a significant amount.  If any of you are interested in learning more about my business or just purchasing something,  please feel free to contact me via my website or email.

On a Personal Note....

I've sat down to my computer so many times in the last week to write, but every time I end up stopping, deleting whatever sentences I have come up with and going back to stalk my friends on facebook. Why? Well, quite simply because all I can think about right now is my family's crazy situation and what I can do to help, and that's kind of personal. And believe it or not, I'm kind of a private person. I have a hard time sharing my thoughts and feelings with my family, let alone write about them on a blog. Which is interesting, because I'm a writer. I don't think that I'm that good at talking (although others tell me I'm very articulate and communicate very clearly), but give me a piece of paper and a pencil and out flows everything I am thinking. Sometimes it takes the shape of a poem or a story, a form that someone could read and not realize that what I wrote is actually my heart. They would just think that it was a good story or emotional poem. I like that. It makes me feel safe.
I think that's what it boils down to for me. Feeling safe. For some reason I have it in my head that showing emotion is weakness. That admitting your need for help is weakness. And I am a strong person. I am not weak. But I've had to learn over the last two years that letting go and admitting my insufficiency is strength. For I am made perfect in weakness, and when I let go and let God take over, He fills me with His strength.
I constantly need to be reminded of this. I'm the oldest of ten children; I still live at home; my dad has been unemployed for eight months and we are very close to losing our home. And there is nothing that any of us can do. My dad is pounding the pavement every day searching for a job. Any job. My mom takes care of the house and the rest of the kids and I am a full time student who has to study, but also takes advantage of every opportunity to make some money by house cleaning, babysitting, house sitting, cat sitting, or working my home based business.
What is there left to say or do? Nothing. All we can do is wait and pray. I know God has a plan. I know He is leading us down a road and that He knows where it leads. But it feels like He has led us into a tunnel that is a thousand miles long with no lights. And as of yet, I cannot see the light at the end that means we are almost out of the tunnel. I feel like we are still in the middle and the train has broken down.
I know that this tunnel will end. We are going through a hard time right now, but I also know things could be much worse. We aren't kicked out onto the street yet; we have more than enough food; we have clothes, clean water and electricity.
So now that you know what I'm going through, you'll probably want to be kept up to date on how things go, so stick around and I'll keep you along as we go on this crazy ride into the unknown.