Letter From Heaven

So, digging all the way back to my senior year of high school, I found this poem and thought I'd share it.

Letter From Heaven

Live in the moment,

Laugh through the pain.

Life is to short to cry because of rain.

When you are hurting and

Old Life

Do you ever look through old journals, emails, letters or other personal things that you had written two, four, five or even ten years ago?  I do.  Not often, but every once in a while I'll come across an old diary or notebook and flip through it.  It's interesting to do that.  To read something that I wrote years ago; to get a glimpse of who I was then - a glimpse that is more and more enlightening as I grow older and have the perspective that age and time brings.  As each year passes and I grow closer to the Lord and He opens my eyes more to the sinful nature of my own heart, it becomes more and more humbling to read personal things that I wrote in high school.

I recently

Valentine's Day and Contentment

This last week was Valentine's Day.  Or, as many of my Facebook friends like to call it, Single's Awareness Day.  Honestly, hearing people call it that has always kind of cracked me up.  Every time I hear someone call it that my first response is: wow, bitter much?  Seriously.  What is so wrong with being single?  Don't get me wrong, I want a relationship just as bad as the next girl, but when that relationship comes, I know I am going to have to give up some of the freedoms that I enjoy now if I want it to work.  And that's the way it is supposed to be.  In order to say "yes" to one thing, you have to say "no" to another.  And people, do you honestly think that once you are in a relationship all your problems will go away?  If you do, you might want to re-assess what you expect because I can guarantee you that they won't.  

I am only 20, and I don't pretend to know a whole lot or have a bunch of wisdom or experience to offer the world.  However, the longer I live and the more people I meet the more convinced I become that one of the keys to living a happy and fulfilled life is contentment.  Choosing to be content wherever it is God has placed you will give you far more peace and happiness than wishing for your life to be different.  One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is the "if only" lie.  As singles we tell ourselves "if only I could find the right person, then I would be happy and content".  Then we find that person and get married and then we want kids.  Then we want the kids to grow up.  Then we want grandkids.  It never ends.  There is always going to be a season of life that looks more appealing than the one we are in right now.  If we are constantly looking ahead to that time, we will lose the joy that is offered in our lives right now.  That is why contentment is so important.  

I am not saying that it is wrong to want and even look forward to a time when you have that special person in your life.  If I said that, I would be a hypocrite, for if I were to be completely honest, I would have to confess that I desperately want to get married and raise a family.  If that is all I ended up doing with my life, I would be thrilled.  The fact of the matter is however, that this is not going to happen for quite some time as I am quite single.  What I, and everyone else who is in this season of life, need to remember is, this season is not going to last forever and it offers us the opportunity to do things that we won't be able to do when we am no longer single.  

Singleness offers the freedom of only having to balance the schedule of one person - me - which allows me to be flexible and available to serve in my church, in my school and in my workplace.  Once I have a significant other, I am not going to be as flexible because he will need to take a place of priority in my schedule. 

As I walk through the seasons of life that God leads me in, I want to be flexible and open so that He can use me.  If I spend my time wishing that my life were different, daydreaming my time away, He can't use me, for I have made myself unavailable to Him.  It makes me sad to see so many people who are discontent with where God has them, for they are robbing themselves of the joy that could be theirs if they only chose to satisfy themselves in Him and what He has given them.  I pray that He will keep  me convicted and content so that He can use me, and I hope that is the prayer of my friends as well.  

Thankfulness and Stress

I've been really convicted lately about thankfulness.
 I think it started when I heard this quote: "What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?"

 It is so easy to go just through life, go through the motions every day things, so stuck in the routine that if someone asked you why you were doing something the only answer you would be able to give is "cause that's just what I do."  That happens to me sometimes.  Particularly when I have a lot on my plate.  I do the opposite of what I should do.  What I should do, on those days when I have so many things on my mind that I cannot possibly function, is

The Place of True Freedom

This is a piece I wrote for an English class my second year at junior college.  After we had read Jonathan Swift's "Gulliver's Travels", we were assigned to write a satirical essay.  This is the product of that assignment.

The Place of True Freedom

Walking home from work one night, feeling depressed at the state of the world, I saw a sign saying that a man who knew the secret to fixing the world’s problems was here tonight to share his knowledge with us.  Curious, I ducked into the theater where he would be speaking and took a seat.  The man came out to the podium set up on the stage and began to speak.  I leaned back in my chair, eager to listen to this marvelous man who held the secret to a peaceful and contented world.  This is his speech.

On Politics and Policies 

A Treatise on How to Make Our Country and World Safer and More Fair.

Our world today is filled with injustices and hatred.  People are fighting in the streets; children are going hungry while the big-shot CEOs are buying new cars and bigger houses; businessmen and policymakers are showing favoritism when they make decisions.  This is absolutely not right.  All humans are created equal.  We are all brothers and sisters in this world and as such we must join together and help each other, refusing to show favor or preference to one group or another.  If we want to make our world a better place, we must embrace unity, tolerance, justice and freedom.  Everyone must be free to express themselves without fear of censor or ridicule.  All are entitled to have freedom of speech, freedom of thought, freedom of expression, freedom of religion and freedom to do and think as one pleases.  We must have freedom from

New Eyes. . .

Over the last couple of weeks God has opened my eyes  and broken my heart for people who don't know Him in a new way.  He showed me His heart by bringing to my attention several people who I know or have known closely who do not love Him or accept Him as their savior.  It just breaks my heart to see these friends, some of whom are like family to me, who grew up in Christian homes and went (or still go) to church and youth functions faithfully now rejecting the faith that they were raised in.  I was having a conversation with one of these friends a few days ago and it was just so heartbreaking.  They have the truth right in front of them and yet they can't or won't receive it.  The saddest part is the effect this rejection has upon a person's life.

Without God, life has no true meaning or purpose - something that I have seen evidenced in some of these friends as they have turned their backs on Him.  Their lives are hollow and they are searching for anything that is not God or religion that will fill the hole in their soul.  But they search in vain, because even if something seems to be working, eventually the emptiness with return.  Their lives are characterized by

Lauren's Journal

Going back to the idea of posting some of my older work, I found a couple of things that I wrote in high school that I thought I might share with you all.  

This short story was written for some sort of contest in my junior or senior year of high school.  Once again, I have not changed anything from the original.  

 Lauren’s Journal

Who am I? What am I doing here? What’s the point in living anyway? Those were the words written in the center of the first page of the journal I had found. All around them, filling up the rest of the page, were drawings. Sad drawings. Pictures and sketches of crying girls, angry boys, wilting flowers and bleeding hearts. Pictures from the hopeless. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I turned the page. Whoever the owner of the journal was, they were obviously hurting.

At first I didn’t want to read it. It was someone’s personal journal, I had no right! But I felt drawn to it. Something inside me whispered and told me to read it. No! I kept saying, it isn’t mine. But it kept whispering. Then I realized it must be the Spirit. So I picked it up and started reading.  I read all night. It was impossible to put down. As I read, I wept. I wept as I never had before - - and doubt I ever shall again. This girl was hurting. Her very soul was screaming for help.

  Her name was Lauren Stewart and she was 16. Very likely only a few months younger than myself. She was an only child whose parents were alcoholics and drug dealers. They never paid much attention to her nor did they care about her, so

Three Years

Three years.
Three years is a long time, and three years is a short time.  So many, many things can change in the span of three years.
Hopes.  
Dreams.  
Fears.  
The very essence of who a person is.  
And yet at the same time, you blink and three years have past like blur.  Life is funny like that.

This particular time of the year means a lot to me, on many different levels.
It's November.
The beginning of my favorite of the Southern California seasons - cool and (if we're lucky) wet.  
The month of Thanksgiving.  
The month in which, three years ago, events occurred that changed my life.  
It's funny how day to day, you generally don't feel like you are changing, but when you look back over your life, you realize that who you were one. . . two. . . five. . . ten years ago would barely recognize the person you are today and you wonder how that happened.

The past week I have been doing a lot of reflecting, thinking and reminiscing.  This last week marks my third year following the Lord.  Three years ago, I was a different person with different plans, goals and dreams.  I was walking

Ramblings

Well, after a long day, I'm kicking back on the couch with my laptop and a cup of hot tea. Today was rather productive I feel, I spent the day organizing, overseeing and working alongside my siblings as we cleaned the house. Life is crazy, it can be difficult to keep track of 7 other people and follow up on what they are supposed to be doing while doing my own work as well. But hey, it's my life and I've been doing for as long as I can remember. Now, with the youngest four *supposed to be* in bed, my sister at the store, the 2 middle ones getting ready for bed, and my mom and brother talking about school in the other room, the living room is rather quiet. Oh, wait, there are still voices down the hall. Getting louder. AND it's time to go follow up and make sure people are still in bed.....

Tonight was my night to make dinner. I made Honey Mustard Chicken, a family favorite, at the request of Petra, (#5) who turned 12 yesterday. 2 whole roasted chickens, a simple honey mustard sauce, rice, and a stir-fry of onions, zucchini and broccoli. Yum!


I'm still having a hard time realizing that it's 2012 already. It's a new year. What will the next 12 months hold I wonder? I love new things. They speak of hope, fresh starts, new beginnings.

My mind is whirling. I have so many things on my mind, so many things that I am thinking about. I'm on break right now, but starting January 23, I'm back at school full time. Between now and then though, I have so much that I need to accomplish. I'm applying to a school back East, the deadline for the application is February 1st. This application requires two essays, a reading list, the actual application, 2 recommendation forms, and transcripts from all the schools that I have attended. I have all of one of the essays done. On top of that, I need to fill out financial aid forms for both schools I am looking at. And then somehow manage to figure out and balance my schedule for next semester. I've already registered for classes, but the times are very different from what I am used to. Hm, I foresee a lot of brain work in the days ahead. So here goes!